"Let’s split the bill", it feels as if my mouth just babbled away without my permission. "Sure" he replies. Did he just say that out loud? It rumbles through my thoughts, my face emotionless with just a quirky smile to ease the awkwardness. So I reach for my purse (just to be polite, you know) lingering for a moment, giving him the opportunity to be the gentleman I know he can be

(more commonly known amongst the fairer sex as a man’s potential, off course). Bollocks, he didn't take the bait...there goes those cute little Nine West shoes I've been having my eye on...

Back home I swiftly flip through my dictionary to the word that I believe has been erased from many men's memories, dictionaries and upbringing (some have even blocked Google from finding it). Courtship: courtship is the traditional dating period before engagement and marriage. It includes activities

such as dating where couples go out together for a meal, a movie, dance parties, a picnic, shopping (yes please) along with other forms of activity. As the words unfold before my eyes, it breathes new life into the way I see men and dating.

I decide to ponder on the thought and wait patiently for our next girls' night to throw it on the table and declare the topic open for (brutal) discussion. Our ladies night is attended by an array of girls each week. Allow me to introduce our close circle (I have taken the liberty to assign a pseudonym for each of my friends to protect their identities. Semi-precious and precious stones have been used as princess Ariel and so forth didn't sit well with us.)

Meet Ruby, Diamond, Opal, Garnet and myself, Amber. We are all strong, independent, intellectual, beautiful (excuse the modesty) women in our late 20's early 30's. None of us are married, some of us are involved and some of us are living La Vida Loca! Gathered around the small teakwood table in Opal's house, after consuming copious amounts of wine, I decide to drop the bomb. Amber: "WTF is up with guys these days?" (FYI the f in wtf is for fudge). You get asked on a date but you must meet him there. You have a delicious dinner, but you must pay for yourself, you get texted, rather than a phone call. Is it just too easy these days? Do we give too much "help-me-I-have-no-backbone" type of guys a chance to hopefully prove us wrong? Or maybe we should put ourselves under the microscope and question why it is that in an era where girls grew stronger, men grew weaker."

Garnet: "Chick, it is the weirdest thing. We all own our own businesses, we are level-headed and not needy, but most importantly, we are capable...perhaps too capable?

"Opal: "Garnet, you are so hot right now." Trust Opal to never be too serious and to constantly make a mockery of anything, which in her mind, carries no weight whatsoever. Got to love her for that!

Diamond: "True words. We are a product of our generation. We, as women, were given a chance to build careers and with that, character, where our predecessors had none such option. They were muted and we were given a voice. It's just obvious that we clinched the opportunity with white knuckled hands. In this transition we surely didn't do everything right. Although we were now career woman, it didn't eliminate our role as mothers, wives/girlfriends or homemakers. You look like a fudging juggling midget in a Boswell Wilky extravaganza.

"Amber: "You took the words right from my mouth. As my good friend Buks said: "Men are tired of competing against women who believe that they can do everything better." He is right. What is the incentive? Why must men step up just to share the podium?" This brings us back to the heavily debated and resisted topic of submission. No wonder so. Next time you attend a wedding, keep an eye out for the married couples. As soon as the priest utter the words: "Women, submit to your husbands" the poor girl gets elbow punched so hard, she cracks a rib. One would think that "Adam" is determined to take back what was rightfully his in the first place. Look carefully above his head...there is a speech bubble that reads: "give me back my rib, woman!" Off course this is when men apply selective hearing in its most brilliant form, and completely miss the part of: "Men, love your wife like God loves His church". If I had to choose between submissions and loving someone like God loves His church, I would happily opt for submission.

Submission does not equal slavery or weakness; it only implies that we take on the role of a lady. A woman that knows what she wants, and gets it without chanting: "Be aggressive! Be, be aggressive!" Isn't it time for girls to step back? Is that what it will take for guys to step up again? Is that what will give men their power back to want to be the provider, both financially and emotionally? I for one, surely hope so.I was watching Animal Planet when nature in its purest form taught me such a great lesson. The male bird was looking for a mating partner, flamboyantly flapping his wings, chirping his most beautiful and intriguing song. A female bird noticed and granted him with a few minutes of her time...sitting dead quiet and observing. After a while she turned her back and flew away. The commentator added "when even his best is not good enough". So, fellow La Vida Loca girls, don’t date a guys potential, date the guy. If he doesn't treat you right the first time, he doesn't get to treat you at all. As my friend Diamond always says: "girls, you deserve it, you always fudging deserve it!"

Boys, if you are planning to woo a girl this Valentine's Day, I urge you to step up (and be aggressive! Be, be aggressive!). There is nothing more attractive than a man who knows who he is and treats a girl with the utmost respect and courtesy.

Let the love flow!
The Tribe has spoken...

Later we speak...Amber x